Fun in France with Filly James
By Phil James

1) Oh yeah I forgot to tell you yesterday. Someone ripped my bike the fuck off. Yeah, I bought this bike like 3 weeks ago for 50 bucks. Anyway, when I went to some disco, I left my bike behind a damn wall on the side of a street. Well when I went there the next morning it wasn't there. Somebody ripped it the hell off.

2) I was walking with my spanish friend Miguel and I saw the most unbelievable sight I've ever goddamn seen. There was this dog that was being walked by his owner, a dog of a nice size. I think it was a bull dog, but I'm not sure. Anyway, this dog propped his damn leg up on the curb and pissed at least 3 or 4 litres of beverage. This would not have been funny had the dog not cocked his leg up like the cock he is. I'm pretty sure it was closer to four litres of urine. For those not sure of their metric skills that is about 1.2 gallons.