On The Subject Of The Deep and The Emotional
The Last True Form of Art

As I roam the KC Art Institute's bathrooms in search of a masterpiece, I find myself frustrated and disappointed. There is simply nothing to be found. The bathroom graffiti at this stupid school sucks. And this is an art school we are talking about. The bathrooms is where the real art should be happening, not in your luxurious studios. The bathrooms, the shit, the art. It could not be stated any better. Well, let's see:

Illustration lavoratory—we got B.B. King lyrics, some crap about Mickey Mouse, and of course the classic "somebody masturbating" picture. Dull and boring.

Printmaking stalls—the overused top ten lists, commentaries on how much local bands suck, blah blah blah. Well, at least there is that one drawing of an obscene and disturbing nature that is kind of neat. Somewhat interesting, but still lacks in content.

Painting—just a bunch of comments on the people who go there, some sorry tags, a poem entitled "The Ass Irony." Boring and shitty.

Dorms bathrooms—I would know, but they keep repainting the damn things every week.

Overall criticism: PATHETIC.

You might be asking yourself what exactly do I want to see in those places. I'll tell you what I want. Huge paintings, 3-dimensional assemblages, collages, xerox transfers, performance and interactive pieces and anything else your lame ass could possibly think of. You see, I for one believe in the power of a bathroom wall. Many philosophers have argued and do keep arguing that the best ideas come to one's mind when one is taking a shit. True or false? That, my friend, is up to you to decide. One thing is for sure, though. Bathroom walls get the message across. Bathroom art is quite possibly the only true form of art. When you are on the stall you are alone, lost in your own thoughts. When you pick up that pencil, pen, sharpie, paintbrush, or whatever and start drawing on the wall, you are free of such bullshit artsy things as composition, line quality, subject matter, etc. There is no fear of making a shitty drawing, losing your scholarship or not impressing your loved one with the deep bullshit meaning of your piece. It's real.

The power of a bathroom piece is immeasurable. Everybody goes there, everybody looks at it, everybody gets something from it. The problem is that too many of you fools have dreams of being exhibited at some huge art fag establishment so the elite intelligence can view and praise your work. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You want your work to be seen? Have your own personal show in the third floor dorm bathroom.